Welcome to the first post for Chasing Angels – a new newsletter bloggy thing by me, Agnes Davis – created as a promise to inspiration.
I’m starting this now of all times on the cusp of a huge life change. Because it suddenly matters very much that I stay awake to the things that feel wonderful.
Change is the great awakener – and having just been shaken wide open for the first time in a while, I want to grab hold of that new energy, treasure it, and bottle it up for anyone else who might need a dose.
The family business I’ve given 99% of myself to for the past six years is closing at the end of this year, 2021. It’s been an amazing and utterly exhausting ride, with unprecedented achievements and relentless stresses too. Pushed over the edge of a tightrope of success by the pandemic taking away all our major business, we’ve finally accepted it’s time to let the dream go.
It’s a vulnerable, nerve wracking decision with messy implications, which is difficult for a Libran like me who needs to make things beautiful, make others happy. But there is no other way except to unleash the destruction and let people down. Let go too of the immense weight we’ve been carrying, the story we’ve been telling ourselves and the world, our children.
Start a new story.
Except there are no brand new stories – every tale starts in the middle. You pick up loose threads, dropped stitches. I was in the middle of another story when I started helping my love with his business, and he has been wandering towards his next story for quite a while, subconsciously.
Now that I look back at that young woman six years ago who was so excited to celebrate and promote his incredible talent, so afraid of her own, I can see completely clearly all that she was distracting herself from. For me the most difficult thing I have experienced in this life is to allow myself to be myself.
And myself just loves loves loves to be inspired. Loves the embodied magic of poetry, loves writing screenplays, loves all kinds of making and experiencing art, loves dancing, needs music, loves angels, magic, healing, wild messy worlds and walking eyes closed, third-eye open into the unknown. She loves that thread that pulls her forward – the thread of intrigue, of intuition, of inspiration that some call faith.
And so with a sincere promise that the rest of this newsletter series will be about many, many things other than myself, here is my honest manifesto for you my readers, to quest after things I love and bring them to you – handfuls of crab legs, structural seed pods and Roman gold from the minds of the world.
Stay tuned please.
Written to this old favourite for new times by Jon Hopkins, Sun Harmonics.
Image of the week, for living in the gap between the threads of your narrative, woven by textile artist Mimi Jung.
All best wishes for the future , you have done it once you can do it again i am sure X
Beautiful words, feelings and wisdom laid down here x